These are from the text “Choosing Civility: The Twenty Five Rules of Considerate Conduct.” The Guidelines are not as elaborate as the Building Peace Initiative’s Compassionate Communication Guidelines but they are a great place to start changing your communication patterns and relationships with others. You can choose one to work on weekly, every two weeks, or even monthly. They take a lot of practice so do not be discouraged. Like any way of habitual thinking it takes time to reset our perceptions and rewire our brain so we can respond differently. Remember it is practice not perfection. So enjoy the start of the New Year by committing to supporting a more peaceful, just, and sustainable world.
One of his quotes that always impressed me was:
“Acts of violence are often the result of an exchange of acts of rudeness that spiral out of control. Disrespect can lead to bloodshed. By keeping the levels of incivility down we keep the levels of violence down…. If we teach youngsters in all walks of life how to manage conflict with civility-based relational skills, we will have a less uncivil society, a less violent one.”
-P.M. Forni
- Pay Attention
- Acknowledge Others
- Think the Best
- Listen
- Be Inclusive
- Speak Kindly
- Don’t Speak Ill
- Accept and Give Praise
- Respect Even a Subtle “No”
- Respect Others’ Opinions
- Mind Your Body
- Be Agreeable
- Keep It Down (Rediscover Silence)
- Respect Other People’s Time
- Respect Other People’s Space
- Apologize Earnestly
- Assert Yourself
- Avoid Personal Questions
- Care for Your Guests
- Be a Considerate Guest
- Think Twice Before Asking for Favors
- Refrain from Idle Complaints
- Accept and Give Constructive Criticism
- Respect the Environment and Be Gentle to Animals
- Don’t Shift Responsibility and Blame