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10/4/22 – Weekly Post: “Some Resources for Nonviolent Communication”

John

Here is a collection of resources:

  • Section A – Nonviolent Communication
    • The Compassionate Communication Guidelines
  • Section B – The Better World Handbook
  • Section C – Compassionate Workplaces and Management Approaches: Articles and Videos
  • Section D – Studies Show the Majority of Employees Have Experienced ACE
  • Section E – The Effect of the Pandemic on Retail Workers – Keeping Our Workforce Healthy
  • Section F -Some Exercises for Calming the Mind and Body

Questions of Comments please feel free to contact me at:

BuildingPeace77@gmail.com

Section A

Marshall Rosenberg’s Book: Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life.

Section A is a specific to Nonviolent Communication.  There are three components to choose from.  The first is his book.  The next is a 9-session training and the third is a training he did in San Francisco.  Feel free to pick one or all to get a sense of his approach.

His initial CD set had 4 discs.  You can now access it online free but the sequence can be confusing so I provided you links in sequential order.  He is not the most dynamic speaker in his book but stick with it. Take your time as this is a practice.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChba0vNERFwUtoxlZ6AjrMw

Disc 1

  • 01 – Introduction (:37)
  • 05 – Communication Without Judgment (8:39)
  • 06 – Life Alienating Communication (9:53)
  • 07 – Observation Without Evaluation (13:37)
  • 08 – Expressing Our Feelings (11:03)
  • 09 – The Difference Between Feelings and Thoughts (12:09)

Disc 2

  • 02 – Taking Responsibility for Our Feelings (10:41)
  • 03 – Learning a Language of Needs (13:33)
  • 04 – Relating to the Needs of Others (7:19)
  • 05- Needs Are Life in Action (5:43)
  • 06 – How Requests Can Be Gifts (6:56)
  • 07 – Requesting Concrete Actions of Others (11:56)
  • 08 – Creating the Connection We Want (10:06)
  • 09 – The Difference Between Requests and Demands (11:54)

Disc 3

  • 02 – Connecting Empathically with Others (11:03)
  • 03 – Defusing Violence with Empathy (10:10)
  • 04 – Conversation and Silence (6:19)
  • 05 – The Healing Power of Empathy (7:31)
  • 06 – From Self-Judgment to Self-Forgiveness (11:33)
  • 07 – The Energy Behind Our Actions (12:36)
  • 08 – The Protective Use of Force (7:39)
  • 09 – The limitations of Punishment and Reward (9:46)

Disc 4

  • 02 – Learning to Express Anger Fully (5:42)
  • 03 – The Cause of  Anger  (7:01)
  • 04 – The Difference Between Cause and Stimulus (7:44)
  • 05- The Techniques for Fully Expressing Anger (13:36)
  • 06 – Learning to Express Our Needs (6:48)
  • 07 – Nonviolent Communication and Psychotherapy (9:59)
  • 08 – Celebrating Life Through Gratitude (7:07)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1U9v_ z8Ok&list=PLTTgUW8_SSpc9EJ_7t54ckArzgNGB2Ojj&index=8

  • 09 – Receiving Gratitude (16:14)

Marshall Rosenberg – 9 Sessions Training (approximately 1 hour each)

Marshall Rosenberg – San Francisco Workshop (3 hours)  He is dynamic and funny in this one.

The Compassionate Communication Guidelines

  1.  Do No Harm – We are committed to preserving all life through practicing

nonviolence, understanding, and compassion while promoting peaceful               methods of resolving conflicts.

  1. Compassion as the Basis for Our Actions – We will seek to reduce the suffering of others whenever possible.
  2. Listen Deeply – Listen with the express intent of understanding other’s perspectives. 
  3. Listen Without Judgment – There are many diverse perspectives in this world. We will be open to other’s perspectives and seek to understand rather than argue.
  4. Speak Kindly and Respectfully in a Manner That Fosters Respectful Dialogue – Being aware of the power of words we will communicate honestly in a manner that fosters understanding and compromise.
  5. Be Inclusive – Excluding people based on race, gender, socioeconomic status or ideology causes a great deal of misunderstanding and suffering. We will seek to engage others whenever possible.
  6. Appreciate Others – Focus on the positive and let people know you appreciate their efforts even if your perceptions differ.
  7. Dialogue Instead of Gossip – Make a genuine attempt to communicate and resolve conflicts directly with each other.
  8. Apologize Sincerely – Set an example, repair injured feelings, and get the conversation moving forward again.
  9. Practice Appropriate Assertion – Develop a well-informed voice and understand your

 right to be heard.

11.  Be Proactive Instead of Reactive – Set the tone for our interactions with           others.

12. Support Each Other in Reaching Our Full Potential

“Do your best to practice compassionate listening. Do not listen for the sole purpose of judging, criticizing, or analyzing. Listen only to help the other person express himself and find some relief from his suffering.”

– Thich Nhat Hanh

Contact: BuildingPeace77@gmail.com

Our effort was developed with help from the Oshkosh Civility Project (Wisconsin) and a network of affiliated campus-and community-based efforts.  Our principles were derived from the “Speak Your Peace” model originally developed in the community of Duluth-Superior based on Choosing Civility by Dr. P.M. Forni, Carl Rogers, Marshall Rosenberg, William Miller, Stephen Rollnick, and “The Fourteen Mindfulness Trainings”.

Section B

The Better World Handbook (Free online): https://www.academia.edu/61489613/The_Better_World_Handbook

The Better World Shopper: (Free online and in text form for a fee)

Home Page

Section C

Compassionate Workplaces and Management Approaches: Articles and Videos

*** Excellent, ** Very Good,  * Worth a Look

Articles on Workplace Culture

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/what_does_compassionate_workplace_look_like

  • **The Role of Compassion in the Workplace.

https://www.cipd.co.uk/news-views/changing-work-views/future-work/thought-pieces/compassion-workplace

  • How to Foster Compassion at Work Through Compassionate Leadership

(has a good piece on “what is a compassionate leader”)

https://positivepsychology.com/compassion-at-work-leadership/

Videos on Workplace Culture

  • **What Makes Employees Happy at Work

(Brief but some good points)

Communication and Understanding Each Other

  • ***Empathy is Not Endorsement –  Dylan Marron
  • **Raising Emotionally Intelligent Kids – This also applies to adults
How to raise emotionally intelligent kids

Section D

Studies Show the Majority of Employees Have Experienced ACE

  • *Adverse Childhood Experiences

https://www.cdc.gov/vitalsigns/aces/index.html

  • **How Childhood Trauma Affects Health Across a Lifetime – Nadine Burke Harris
  • **The ACE Study: Managing a Kinder, Gentler Workplace
The ACE Study: Managing in the Kinder, Gentler Workplace
  • Overcoming Workplace Challenges Using Nonviolent Communication – Dian Killian

Section E

The Effect of the Pandemic on Retail Workers – Are We Doing What is Needed?

***https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/stress/2021/one-year-pandemic-stress-essential

**https://mhanational.org/mental-health-and-covid-19-two-years-after-pandemic

**https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33861938/

*https://www.thehrdirector.com/business-news/mental-health/retail-staff-suffering-lowest-levels-of-mental-wellbeing/

Section F

Some Exercises for Calming the Mind and Body

This can help you manage the thoughts and feelings that can arise during difficult conversations:

Kavita Maharaj is excellent.  She has quite a bit on YouTube but these are good to start with: